When In Rome
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do…”
It’s an expression we all know; an ancient proverb attributed to Saint Ambrose. The wisdom in this saying tells us that when we’re visiting a place as an “outsider,” it’s best for us to follow the customs of wherever we are.
And, for the most part, that’s some good wisdom! You’ve probably seen or read countless stories of unfortunate situations where people travel overseas with a mindset that they can do whatever they want.
Whether it stems from arrogance or blissful ignorance, it rarely ends well.
When traveling, I often jokingly nudge my mom and say, “We can’t look like tourists!”
That was my playful way of saying, let’s not stand out too much. In other words, let’s mind our business and enjoy our time here.
Beautifully, leaning into the cultures around you allows you to see how others live, admiring both the differences and the similarities. It connects you to the world and reminds you, “Oh yeah… It’s not just me.”
It helps you see that the world is so much bigger than our own four corners. But what I want to delve into isn’t about exploring the beautiful cultures throughout God’s green earth.
An Old Proverb, A New Light
I’ve had this thought for quite some time now.
From a spiritual lens, I would tweak it to say: When in Rome, do not do as the Romans do.
God was never about conforming or fitting in, and He constantly urged His followers not to partake in the ways of the wicked. Funny enough, the Book of Romans itself (12:2) speaks perfectly to this:
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Now, this was actually a follow-up to the very first verse, which says:
“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.”
We have been made in God’s image, and since the veil has been removed from us (2 Corinthians 3:18), we can now see and reflect God’s glory. Christ died for our sins; He was the ultimate and perfect atonement, allowing us to be reconciled back unto the Father. Because of what God has done, we should carry that same mindset.
As Jesus said, “Nevertheless not my will, but your will be done,” we should echo that. As Jesus said, “Into your hands I commit my spirit,” we should say the same with earnestness.
God is looking for us to be a living and holy sacrifice, which requires us to die to ourselves daily. This means not acting in the way of the flesh, but allowing the Spirit to guide us as we walk (Galatians 5:16).
But we can’t do that if we’re following the customs and traditions of this world.
How can I present myself to God if I’m offering myself to Baal or Dagon over here? How can I present myself to God if I’m constantly giving in to my fleshly desires?
The world craves pleasure, gratification, and power. The most dangerous thing about that pursuit is that it’s never enough. I know that all too well. If you give sin an inch, it’ll run a whole marathon on you.
The Lord was very clear with the Israelites after they left Egypt about what they could and could not do. If you’re starting your spiritual journey, or if you don’t even believe yet, you may read those Old Testament laws and feel as though God is being harsh. But what God was actually doing was setting boundaries.
Boundaries aren’t punishment; they’re a way to keep us safe.
Safe from what? Ourselves.
He knew His people. They had just come out of a polytheistic culture, and it would be their natural proclivity to lean back into that. So He explicitly warned them in Deuteronomy 7:3–4 not to intermingle or intermarry with the nations around them, because it would turn their hearts away from Him.
But as we see throughout the books of Judges and 2 Kings, that is exactly what they did. They forgot the Lord, intermingled, and were quickly led into the sins, traditions, and pagan customs of the people around them. It ultimately cost them their freedom, their land, and their safety.
They paid a very heavy price.
One Heart For One Master
We cannot serve two masters. It creates internal conflict, and as the Bible says, we will love one and hate the other.
If you’ve ever felt the ping of, “Ugh, God is too hard,” or “Why does everything have to be so rigid?” I invite you to take a closer look and consider the cost of the path that runs with the world (Matthew 7:13-14).
I’m not trying to use fear or guilt, but I am laying a foundation of truth. In this life, we have a choice. Will we choose life or death? Will we choose life on earth only…or will we die to ourselves in this life so we can truly live in the next?
Dying to self may bring some suffering, but the joy and peace found in the lessons, in both the mountains and the valleys, is so worth it.
The Real Reward
The Lord desires something different. Something less seen. Something less… traditionally appealing to the world. He desires clean hands and a pure heart.
Well, who wouldn’t want that? That sounds appealing!
But what if it meant the world didn’t choose you? What if it meant you had to endure suffering or humiliation? Would it still be appealing to you then?
Scripture makes the requirement and the promise very clear:
“Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart...” — Psalm 24:3–4
And the promise rings even louder in Matthew 5:8:
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”
The world chases pleasure, gratification, and power. But the real prize is not found in those things. The real reward is God Himself. The greatest thing we can receive in our lives is the Creator Himself.
Another scripture I hold incredibly dear is Psalm 1:1–6, which beautifully lays out the reward of not falling into the rhythm of the world:
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish
In a world that says it values standing out, unless, of course, it goes against their values and what they want, God calls us to remember who we are. We know who our God is.
Unlike the Israelites, who forgot His power, crossed the Lord’s boundaries, and intermingled with the culture around them, we have to hold the line.
Part of my church’s vision is that we are the last line of defense in a world set to destroy itself.
It’s stark imagery. When I was younger, I would repeat it and cite it, but it hasn’t been until now that I’ve truly been able to understand the weight of it. Within that vision lies a heavy responsibility. Either you stand and defend, or, sure, you can choose to go along with the world, but you will be destroyed right alongside it.
You can’t defend a border you’ve already abandoned, and you cannot protect a territory you’ve compromised with.
A crucial part of holding that line is being clear of mind, sober, alert, and fully aware of the boundaries God has set. We can’t afford to intermingle with the very things we are called to stand against.
We’ve seen the cost of wandering out of His bounds, and we choose a different path.
I’m still learning to embrace this distinct mark God has placed on us, His beloved children.
Some are drawn to it.
Some are repelled by it.
But either way, God’s truth will always stand the test of time, because it is beyond time.
So when the pressure of the world closes in, and you feel the urge to blend into the background, remember who you serve and remember the true reward.
Stand firm in His boundaries, remember who our God is, and let His truth speak for itself.
When in Rome, do not do as the Romans do.
